Monday, October 15, 2007

Dear Dick

Dear Dick Stockton:

Please leave Chicago, and never come back.

You are BAD LUCK to Chicago Sports. Anytime I am watching the Bears, Cubs, Bulls, Blackhawks, or Fire on TV, I don’t want to see your face or hear your voice. You bring the worst luck an announcer has ever brought to a Chicago team.

Exhibit A: The Cubs. Here we are in September, kicking ass, winning the division, enjoying the games with Len and Bob…and then, all of the sudden, we’re in the post-season, you take over the play-by-play, and the Cubs go to shit. And every single time that lead off asshole on Arizona was up to bat, you brought up the homerun he hit in Game 1. Thanks, for that. I really wanted to remember that moment over three games.

Exhibit B: The Bears. The Bears come off a great win in Greenbay, we seem have things under control against the Vikings…then I notice who’s announcing the game. Minnesota comes back, Peterson rips us apart, and Longwell hits a filedgoal with no time on the clock to win the game. What’s that, Dick? Oh, that field goal he kicked was a new record for him? Great! You must be so happy for Longwell!

Dick, you and Longwell deserve each other. A cursed sports announcer and a washed up kicker.

In closing,

F U, Dick.

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