Thursday, October 4, 2007

Part Deux

Part 2. Pro Baseball.

Teams that are RIGHT:
Chicago Cubs (Obviously.)
Kansas City Royals (I think they give you ten bucks and a free hat if you go to a game. It was also the first stadium I ever went to. And they beat the red birds in ‘85 for the series, straight up.)

Teams that are OKAY:
NY Mets (The correct team to cheer for in NY, as long as they are not playing the Cubs)
Baltimore Orioles ( I have to admit, I like the stadium and the tradition. Plus, the team is not a threat to any of the above.)

Teams that are WRONG:
St. Louis Cardinals (Pure Evil.)
Boston Red Sox (after spending time in Boston and seeing 96% of people on the T wearing “B” hats and talking like dickheads… and really, I just hate New England fans. I think my friends Jay (due to his terrible Boston accent) and Alyson (due to her love of sports) are the only exceptions.)
NY Yankees (If you hate the Red Sox, you have to love the Yankees right? Nope. I’m sick of them. And Fuck Johnny Damon and his Yanks haircut.)
Arizona Diamondbacks (Their fans are really old and have no tradition. I’m sure you can guess why they made the list. And it's too fucking hot to play baseball in Arizona. What's that? Oh, you can close the roof? Oh, well, why don't we just sit inside and play house all day. Idiots. Goats willing, they'll be done soon.)
Chicago White Sox (I don’t like when their fans infest my neighborhood bars, just looking to talk shit. Guess what? The Cubs won the series.)
Florida Marlins (Florida should retire as a state. And the fact that they beat the Cubs wasn’t Bartman’s fault. There. I said it. Can Dick Stockton stop talking about it now? “With five outs to go…” For Gods sake, I’m trying to watch the game.)

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