Saturday, December 22, 2007

Last night a DJ ruined my life

Okay, so I've been in the Philippines for 4 days, and I have lots to write about it. For starters, here in Boracay, there's more tang on sale than I've ever seen in my life. Surprisingly, I don't mean whores, I mean the ghetto astronaut drink. It's everywhere. There are convenience store signboards just announcing: TANG! While I haven't partaken yet, there's only so long one can go without indulging in the homeless man's Kool-Aid.

Anyway, I want to start a running series on, for lack of better term, douchebaggery. I must ask, is there a field more full of douchebags (not counting suburban police and mall security) than DJs? Is there a less educated/less talented person that could have more effect on your life in certain situations? I mean, these are high-school dropouts with czar-like power over a given club. Granted, I am not talking about high end DJs that are good at what they do, and often work at the top clubs in LA, Vegas, Chicago, New York, London, Paris, Berlin, Moscow, and Tokyo, nor am I talking about the up-and-comers working in lesser lights anywhere from Seattle to Stuttgart to Seoul. I am talking about the 99% that work in the clubs that you (and when I'm slumming it, me) may actually go to.

Why is it so easy to hate DJs? Well, first off, they all dress the same. Same tilted cap (and almost never one of a sports team, but of some bullshit snowboard magazine or something), same tank top, often an NBA jersey, same overly baggy track pants or jeans. This is true of all DJs, be they black, white, hispanic, or Asian, despite the fact that none of the white, hispanic, or Asian DJS are actually cool enough to pull this off.

Of course, their greatest crime - playing horrible music. Like, only top 40 or shitty mainstream hip-hop. I was at a club last night during happy hour, and they were playing cool, original laid back trance/house type of shit. Music you really won't here anywhere else. I returned to the club later at night, and it was just shitty generic Beyonce and other really boring mainstream shit, music that even as you here it for the first time, it seems familiar. I left immediately. I went to the club next door, which was showing a Rod Stewart DVD. I mean, Rod fucking Stewart. Yet, the people in the club seemed to dig it, though I didn't. Then, they muted the DVD and the DJ started playing - the exact same songs as the club next door. Only the bartender's glacial closing of tabs slowed the exodus to the door.

I'm just saying - DJs - you have an easy job. A really easy job. 5 years ago, the job consisted of changing cds, now its a matter of clicking a mouse. Is it so hard to play something decent that the club next door isn't playing?

By the way, when's the last time that you had a really good time at a club with horrible, unoriginal schlock playing?

1 comment:

slug vs. salt said...

that's absolutely true. I'm asian and wear baggy pants, a tilted cap, and a beater, and I definitely am not cool enough to pull off this look. you know, those asshole DJs also get a shitload of free booze and ass, if you needed other reasons to hate them.