Sunday, February 10, 2008

Top Ten

So, my friend Ross posted a top ten list about why he is about to turn 30.  Here's my list about why I'm not.  I'll list the original first so you have some comparison.  

Top Ten Reasons I’m Almost 30 by Ross Jonak


  1. I actually bought a condo and can’t just quit my job and move across country.
  2. I have decorative pillows on my bed…you actually don’t sleep on them, decoration only! My mom who is a HUGE decorative pillow person should be so proud.
  3. The other week I had competing 7am meetings. Now I know why coffee was invented.
  4. My Thursday evenings don’t involve getting drunk off my ass and suffering through a hangover Friday at work.
  5. I have business cards that I actually pass out to generate business contacts instead of giving them out to only friends as a way to look cool.
  6. I feel very out of place around college kids at University of Portland basketball games.
  7. The thought of buying into a plot of land at the local community garden is very exciting! I’ve actually got my plot already…#23!! It’s going to be one hell of a garden!!
  8. I have bought furniture that wasn’t posted on the free section of craigslist.
  9. I don’t have a case of PBR in my fridge. Okay, this is only half true. I don’t currently have any PBR in my fridge, but this is because I drank it all last Saturday. I’m turning 30, not going crazy!
  10. The local newspaper who wrote an article about me (see attached), listed my age as 30. Jerks!  

TOP TEN REASONS I AM NOT 30 by Joe Kickass

1. I’m still hungover from going out on Thursday...then Friday...then Saturday.
2. I give out business cards mostly to impress my friends, and occationally to potential business partners.
3. I rent.
4. I consistently think about packing up and moving somewhere cool, where I can just “bartend and write” to get by, but really end up slacking off and having fun.
5. Everyday I think about quitting my job.
6. I think about buying things I can’t afford.  What’s a little more credit card debt?
7. I have no idea what a decorative pillow is.
8. Seriously, should I quit my job?
9. I only own one suit.
10. If I quit my job, I’ll have more time to sit around and play video games. 

1 comment:

Michelle said...

Top Ten Reasons I feel I might be turning 30 a lot sooner tan my older boyfriend.
1. I rent but spend much of my freelance thinking time on when I can buy a condo
2. I bought decorative pillows but Tim has sentenced them to the chair based on his confusion of why they might exist in the first place.
3. I have so many acid stomach problems that the mere idea of that being drunk on Thursday might lead me to a downward spiral of hung-over Friday and then just on a toast and rice diet through the weekend.
4. Have to be at work by 7am and I have found its really nice to get a good early start to by day, If a am done there by 3 think of all the other things I can get done.
5. I may not have business cards but I am the one who is able to find Tim’s when he loses them so he can restock his card holder to pass out to friends.
6. The idea of going out on a weeknight rarely appeals to me mostly because I am working till 10pm only to come home and work one something else but this is kinda how my life was in college too. Some things might never change.
7. When looking at pictures of my new nephew my maternal urge is so strong I think I literally feel it in my ovaries. This idea only makes Tim nauseous.
8. Tim don’t quit your job.
9. I am always looking for opportunities to buy fancier more grown up clothes. But no fear I will always be increasing my Threadless collection.
10. I am not sure if Halo, World of War Craft, and Mass Effect are the same game or played on the same system