Saturday, April 19, 2008

11 Up!

I'm an 11-up junkie. Enough of one, in fact, to write about it, rather than my trip to Busan last weekend. Busan, by the way, is a coastal Korean city that I've been to three times now, maybe 11 minutes of that time sober, and a city chock full of drunks, Russian mafioso types, whores, and apparently legal fireworks. It's never boring, yet I'm choosing to write about 11-up. That, and the thing I wrote about Busan is fucking terrible and I don't want to post it.


For the un-indoctrinated, 11-up is one of these horrible touch screen games that polute the barscape of America. I used to play trivia and Run-21, but I was introduced to 11-up by Matt-toast in the year 2000 or so. I've since spent roughly $93,000 on the game, and I am number one on countless machines in no fewer than 27 states. With my enormous investment in this game, I'm pretty good, and I can usually claim the number one spot on any given machine within a dollar or two's worth of plays.

So far as I know (and I'm the type of person who would know) there's a total of one Megatouch machine in the whole of Korea. It's at Hollywood pub, in Itaewon, the bar district in Seoul that I've written of countless times before. The first time I went to Hollywood, at Halloween of 2006, I noticed the machine and borrowed a 500 won coin (roughly 50 cents, the type of coin this machine takes) from a friend, played the game once, and got the number one score. All things were good in the universe. However, when I went back to Hollywood a couple weeks later, I discovered my score was defeated by a girl named Kat, and she hadn't just beaten my score, she'd crushed it, by like 10,000 points. I loathed Kat after that, and felt a bit vindicated when I first saw her bogarting the Megatouch machine - she turned out to be every bit as fat and ugly and you would expect a Megatouch champion named Kat to be. At least I didn't have to worry about any plot twists that involved me falling for her.

I beat my old score several times, and came close to Kat, but I just couldn't get to her ridiculous 159,600 points. My once top score, that Kat relegated to number two, fell to the number seven score - though every name on the list between 1 and 7 was mine. I played 11-up every time I went to Itaewon, usually at least $900 worth per night. I had a 159,200 game. 400 points in 11-up is nothing, it's beating a level one second sooner. I was so frustrated afterwards that I considered burning the Hollywood to the ground, before remembering that the building Hollywood is in houses my favorite club and my 6th and 7th favorite restaurants in Itaewon, so destruction wasn't a viable option.

Tonight, for the millionth time, I stopped at Hollywood to claim the record that I knew was properly mine. This time, I was shocked to see that all of Kat's and my old scores had been erased. The machine had been reset, for some reason, for the first time in a year and a half. The top score was a paltry 131,000, which I knew I would beat in no time. Still, I felt a bit bad, claiming the top score on this machine with such pathetic competition. However, on my 3rd or 4th credit, I ended up playing the game of my life, and scoring an insurmountable 163,000 something. I saw Kat, all 300 pounds of her, sitting at the bar waiting to play the Megatouch, so I played for another hour just to be an asshole. The bartender told me "she is waiting for the game." I told the bartender that I know who she was, and she can wait. I've been waiting for a year and a half. Kat- if you're out there - you'll never beat my score.

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