Thursday, November 13, 2008

You Know Who’s Worse Than The DMV?

The post office. More specifically, the closest post office to my apartment. But, I think in general, yes, they have taken the crown away from the DMV to become the worst place you have to go. In case you were wondering, the top 5 worst places to be are:

1. The bottom bunk when your roommate thinks you are asleep and decides now is a good time to have sex with your (ex) girlfriend on the top bunk.
2. Post Office
3. DMV
4. Dentist
5. A pity invite to a Thanksgiving Dinner…but you actually show up, making for an awkward moment, and then on top of that the food is bad so you have to spit it into your napkin and feed it to the dog. Not that I’ve been there.

So there you have it. The post office is above the DMV, mainly because of…well…How often do you really have to go to the DMV? Probably about as often as you go to the dentist, or graduate high school – every four years. (I’m about to start my 3rd High School!) The post office? At least once a month for something. And it doesn’t matter what time you get there. It’s always bad, and they don’t care. There’s always three people working, and only one spot opened. I don’t know what the other two people do, but they aren’t helping you, and they don’t care.

At least when you go to the DMV, you can expect a fight. You know what you’re up against. You know it’s going to suck, and if you happen to get out of there in under an hour, chalk up a win and use those extra 3 hours on catching up on the latest internet porn, or pop in that “Pool Tricks to Impress The Ladies” DVD you bought at a Walgreens for 2.99 three years ago.

When you go to the post office, for some reason I feel like there’s false hope. When you walk in, you think, maybe today the line won’t be so bad. It’s 10AM on a Tuesday. Who’s at the post office? Everyone. 1PM? Everyone plus their family. It doesn’t matter. I swear I’ve even seen a few tents camping out the night before.

I suggest making post office employees work for commission. How ever many people you get through, that’s how much money you make. People would be busting their ass to get through their lines. I recently had to go to the post office 4 different days to accomplish one thing – turning in my passport application. I wanted to get the ball rolling before November 4th, just in case I had to bolt to Canada.

Congrats to OBAMA. And how about a little love for our 100th post at Sports That Are Right? On that topic, I have a few upsets I’m picking this week. The Chiefs will get over the hump and beat the Saints, and Dallas will come out firing and beat Washington. Keep an eye on Baltimore at NYG, will be closer than you think. Titans will stay unbeaten.

In case you missed it, check out my latest trailer: www.bathroommovie.com

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