So apparently, after speaking with both of my parents tonight, neither thought it was a good idea to ride home 4 miles or so on a bike after 19 or so beers. I disagree. I’m a highly capable bike rider, and a highly capable drunk, so clearly the transitive property is in play here. So, to appease them, I decided to give the cab thing the old college try - i.e., I would stand on the street outside the bar parking lot for upwards of one minute . Amazingly - and I mean amazingly for New York or Chicago or Tokyo or any of those fancy cities I’ve been to - I managed to flag down a taxi within 37 seconds -in St. Petersburg, Florida. Not Even St. Petersburg. St. Pete Beach. So, whatever, I took it. The streets were empty. I could have ridden home on a Roller Racer and been fine. Bah.
I was a bit hungry, so I had the driver drop me at the 7-11, a 10 minute walk from home. Here’s where the drunk iPod-ing comes in.
Start - My iPod is halfway through a Bill Simmons podcast. I am unaware why it was playing this. I jumped to Playlists - then My Top Rated - then the magic Shuffle. Here we go -
Track 1 - UNKLE - Rabbit in Your Headlights - not in the mood - skip
Track 2 - The Doors - Take it as it Comes - already listened to the Doors today
Track 3 - Portishead - Glory Box - again, not in the mood
Track 4 - Dan Fogelberg - Same Old Lang Syne - That’s a bit of a downer - next
Track 5 - Radiohead - Backdrifts - not familiar enough, I still only know maybe half of Hail To The Thief
Track 6- Dr. Dre - Keep Their Heads Ringin - heard it like 5 minutes ago at the bar
Track 7 - Tom Petty - Runnin’ Down a Dream - meh - next again. At this point, I’m like 12 feet outside of 7-11, by the way.
Track 8 - Nada Surf - Icebox - Fuck yeah. I turn it up. I play air guitar with the down chords. I happily eat my Jalapeno Cheddar Chex Mix that I’d purchased from 7-11. I sing along a bit.
Track 9 - Paul Revere and the Raiders - Kicks - Fuck yeah again. Actually, I knew it was coming. I liked the idea of Icebox, but skipped to the next song to make sure it was one I wanted to listen to, and it was, so I skipped back to the beginning of Icebox. Anyway, during this song, I put away the Chex Mix, light a smoke, and do lots of fist pumping to the tune of the song
Track 10 - Keny Loggins - This is It - How did this get into my top rated to begin with? Stupid Yacht Rock. Skip.
Track 11 - Cake - The Distance - Not in a 1996 kind of mood. Skip.
Track 12 - The Mars Volta - Deloused in the Comatorium - Not in the mood for Mars Volta - skip
Track 13 - The Ataris - In this Diary - not that kind of night - skip
Track 14 - Red Hot Chili Peppers - Desecration Smile - probably not worthy of “top rated,” but I top rated every Stadium Arcadium song when I bought the cd so it would play more often - in 2006. I’ve since been too lazy to reduce the rating on the lessor songs. Skip.
Track 15 - Red Hot Chili Peppers - This Velvet Glove - Well, mow I’m in the habit of skipping the Chili Peppers, so I do it again
Track 16 - Tupac - Keep Your Head Up - Not really in the mood - skip
Track 17 - Chris Isaak - Go Walking Down There - a representative song from the year 2000, but having just watched Recount, I’m not really in a Year 2000 kind of place. skip.
Track 18 - Social Distortion - Untitled - I’m not in a 1996 kind of place either, see Cake. Skip.
Track 19 - The Cure - Fascination Street - It takes too long to get going, and I’m getting home soon. No need for a 9 minute song when I’ll be home in 5.
Track 20 - Elton John - I Guess That’s Why They Call it The Blues - no
Track 21 - Bjork - Human Behavior - go away, Year 2000. Yeah, I know this song came out before then, but that’s the year I was big into Bjork. In my book, all Bjork songs are year 2000. And Iceland.
Track 22 - Bob Seger - We’ve Got Tonight - It’s top rated for Wonder Years related reasons. Winnie Cooper, the faux-nostalgic ideal more so than the TV character, is the last thing I need to think about. Skip.
Track 23 - Lionel Richie - Running With The Night - for whatever reason, this works. It almost always does. I listen to it in its entirety. I almost always do.
Track 24 - Death Cab For Cutie - Summer Skin - kick ass. Two songs in a row that I can listen to in their entirety. Best of all, Summer Skin will finish the walk.
24 tracks in 10 minutes. Maybe 15. Ridiculous. If I hadn’t used the My Top Rated playlist, it could have been 50. Yeesh. I really need to reduce my ratings on like 400 songs.