Now how's that for a title?
I’m surprised my last post got so much Big Red love based on my tangential introduction. I’ve never cared for Nebraska myself. Of the 46 states that I’ve been to, I’ve spent the least amount of time in Nebraska despite the fact that I lived under 100 miles away from it for 20 years. I’ve spent less than one hour in that state, and 97% of that time I was asleep. In fact, I’ve spent much more time in North Carolina’s airports and South Carolina and Alaska’s airspace, 3 of the 4 states that I haven’t been to, then I have in Nebraska. One of my favorite jokes - What does the “N” on Nebraska’s helmet stand for? (K)Nowledge.
Though Nebraska was always the regional football power when I was growing up, I don’t think I ever liked them. The pre-1994 teams were always the dominant midwest force, beating KU 77-0 or so every year. Then they would go to the Orange Bowl to either lose a close game or to be murdered by a Florida school. In 1994 and 1995, they finally found their way. They stopped being a national embarrassment on the field and instead became one off it, thanks to Lawrence Phillips on both accounts. Of course, by this point, Notre Dame had begun their long hibernation, KU’s resurgence was a long way off, and I had discovered drugs, so college football went on without me.
The NFL, however, I’ve always kept up on.
It turns out, as per usual, that most all of my pre-season NFL predictions were wrong. Everything I said about the Jets looks laughable. They’re for real. The Chiefs seem at least 60% for real as well, and in the AFC West this year, a 60% winning percentage should result in a home playoff game. Granted, that home playoff game the Chiefs may earn will find them hosting Baltimore, Pittsburgh, New England, the Jets, or Tennessee, ie, they will definitely lose by a lot. Still, should they make the post-season coming after a 2-14 season, that’s more than I signed up for, and I’ll be happy. I know it’s still early to speculate, but the Chiefs should beat the Rams, Cardinals, and Jaguars, and they should sweep either the Broncos or Raiders while splitting with the other. That’s 9 wins, which should be enough to take this crappy division. Strangely, I’m most frightened of the Rams. They’ve been frisky, and Bradford looks like the most interesting rookie QB in years. Then again, so did Matt Ryan. The Bears, on the other hand, may be a simply atrocious football team that will be lucky to win another game. Enjoy being a DC in, say, Houston next season Lovie.
I will now delight you with a fantasy football tale. If you don’t care about such matters (and how could you not?) then you should stop here. I won’t mind. I’ll see you in a couple days to talk TV.
All 3 of my fantasy teams this year, somehow, are horrible. I’ve had horrible luck to start with, from the early rounds (Ryan Grant, DeAngelo Williams, Shonn Green, Randy Moss) to the “utility” middle rounders (Joe Flacco, Mike Simms-Walker, Jermichael Finley, now Dallas Clark too) to later round crafty veterans (Clinton Portis, Thomas Jones). Even my kickers and defenses were lame, and I’ve changed both so many times in all 3 leagues that I no longer have any idea who my kickers and defenses are. I’ve been shrewd in free agency and trades since then though, and I still think all of my teams, even my 1-5 one should be in the playoff hunt. Last week, as I began my comebacks, fantasy football really hurt. Turns out instead of coming back, I went 0-3.
I basically lost 2 games on the same mundane play. In one game, my opponent had the Tennessee defense, and in the other, my opponent had Jacksonville’s kicker Josh Scobee. On Monday Night, Jacksonville had the ball on the Tennessee 3, 3rd and goal, and down 20-0 in the 3rd quarter. It was obvious 4 down territory, as a touchdown would make it a 2 score semi-competitive game. Tennessee, of course, sacked Jacksonville quarterback Trent Edwards for a 12 yard loss. Ballgames. See, a fantasy defense scores 2 points off a sack, so my opponent who owned the Tennessee D scored 2 points off that sack - and beat me by one point. This sack also forced Jacksonville to kick a field goal, as it was now 4th and 15 instead of 4th and 3. I lead by 1.5 in my other game but Josh Scobee trotted out and kicked the chip-shot field goal, putting me down by 1.5. 2 losses, 2.5 points. D’oh. And Stupid Jacksonville still lost to Tennessee 30-3. Tennessee covered the spread by a mile. I may have been the only person in America affected by Scobee’s meaningless kick, and I’m not even in America.
Kyle-toast stays in 1st place in that league, even though he didn’t even draft his own team or autodraft. No, another buddy in the league, Jed, drafted for him. Jed ended up getting him AP. Roddy White, Miles Austin, Shady McCoy, Phil Rivers, and Arian Foster. Jed literally picked the best possible player he could have gotten in each round. At least Jed got his karmic come-upance for drafting 2 teams in the same draft - his own team is 1-5 and in last place.
TV party coming soon.