Time for this blog to go old school. NES/NAS has always been about sports, pop culture (particularly TV and video games, often from the 80s), ranting, travel, girls, booze, and Korea (although it’s decidedly not a “life in Korea” sort of blog, I’m proud to be the only expat blogger in Seoul who doesn’t just focus on Korean matters). Occasionally I mix in politics, and from time to time throw in masturbatory typing on matters that could only interest me. Here and there, I make fun of Canada. Check through the archives, and most everything can be matched up with these topics. However, one of those core subjects has long been missing from this page - girls. It’s been since May of 2010 since I’ve written a girl-focused post, not counting last week's novelty gag. This ends tonight.
Girls are still a source of confusion, you see. I still don’t get it.
I was out with three girls from work the other night. (Well, two months ago. This post has been in the hopper for a while now).
Anyway, while I was talking to these girls, a brief exchange they had blew my mind. See, one of them, Dre, has this new guy she’s dating.
We were all planning to go paintballing for another girl at the table, Anna’s birthday. It rains every day in Seoul in the summer, so rain was a real possibility for Saturday.
Let’s jump back a bit. I’ll give my anecdotal reaction before I deliver the punchline.
In my early Chicago days, life was cartoonish. I had a 13 inch Curtis Mathis TV/VCR combo and a cardboard box for a coffee table. I couldn’t afford dial-up internet. I generally subsisted exclusively on Old Style tall boys and Flamin’ Hot Funyuns.
The first job I had in those days consisted of selling art out of my car. I worked for a pyramid scheme who provided me with framed prints of Van Goghs or Monets or Capone-era Chicago photos. It was my job to drive up and down Lincoln Avenue, visiting every single business establishment to sell them art. Oftentimes, I would sell zero pieces, netting me exactly $0, minus gas and lunch for 10 hours of work. It was unbelievably soul crushing. If I got lucky and sold a few pieces and made $20, I’d spend it all in the bar that night, knowing that I could never actually save up enough money to pay my rent.
There was this girl that things were kinda starting to happen with. Her birthday was coming up.
I made a few sales, put a couple dollars together.
I went down to the Art Institute. I wanted to get her something awesome. I walked around the Art Institute for three hours, looking at paintings, waiting to be inspired. I came across a Monet piece. It was really abstract, just blues and greens and purples, but it struck me. I saw her in it. It was perfect.
I went to the gift shop. They sold a small print of it for $20. I had around $50 to my name at the time, maybe less. I bought it anyway. It was fucking perfect. It was the most “her” thing hanging on the walls of one of the greatest art museums in the world.
Her birthday came around. I was armed with the perfect gift and $27 or so to buy drinks at her party. Her reaction? Meh. It may have been even less enthusiastic than that.
Back to Thursday night, Anna’s birthday at the bar in Seoul. Talk of rain at paintball.
Dre mentions that her new dude looked up the weather for Saturday. The reaction from the other two girls at the table? Awww!
Are you fucking kidding me? Listen, no hate on Dre’s beau whatsoever, but seriously - are you fucking kidding me? Bah. This cat spends four seconds checking an app, and he’s Aaron fucking Ralston.
That’s it. I’m getting ahead of the game. Notice the shiny new weather gadget in the upper right? It’s in German as there is currently no English weather gadget. I suppose knowing the weather in Stutgart is better than meh.